Veterans Day: Retired Illinois general, wife reflect on military family sacrifices

Veterans Day Veterans Day: Retired Illinois general, wife reflect on military family sacrifices Retired Maj. Gen. Richard Hayes says deployment often harder on spouses, families By Jaisol Martinez , Blanca Rios Wednesday, November 11, 2026 12:07PM Military life shaped Richard and Danette Hayes for more than three decades. Now they're helping veterans find support. CRYSTAL LAKE (WLS) -- Veterans Day is a time to honor the men and women who served our country. But military service often impacts an entire family. For retired Major General Richard Hayes and his wife, Danette, military life was a decades-long commitment shared by their entire family. From a young artillery officer to Illinois' highest-ranking military officer, Hayes spent more than three decades serving in the Illinois National Guard before retiring in 2019. Along the way, military service took the family around the world, including a deployment to Kosovo, before Hayes rose to become the Adjutant General of Illinois. But Hayes says the sacrifices weren't his alone. "One thing I can say affirmatively, it's a lot easier on the service member than it ever will be on the family because the family doesn't necessarily understand nor sign up for it," Hayes said." While Hayes was serving his country, Danette Hayes was raising their three children through deployments, holidays and long separations. "The first week is great. That third month not so great. You're like, wow, this is not fun. And then the holidays come and that really throws you into despair and you're missing them," she said. Today, the retired couple continues giving back. Danette volunteers at her local food pantry, while Rich serves on the board of Veterans Path to Hope in Crystal Lake, an organization that helps veterans navigate life after military service. "Veterans generally don't like to ask for help. They're proud, they stand tall," Hayes said. Veterans Path to Hope works to create a welcoming environment for those who need assistance. "This is a comfort zone. They can walk in. They're not judged. What do you need? How can we help?" Hayes said. For military families, support often comes from others who understand the unique challenges that come with service. Suspect charged in Auburn Gresham home invasion, sex assault due in court 2 hours ago 21-year-old shot to death in front of his father while delivering food in Logan Square, family says New testing finds Legionella and chlorine concerns in Illinois town's water investigation "There's 1% of America that serves so we're part of this exclusive club," Danette Hayes said. That bond can be powerful. But she says military families can face challenges many civilians never see. "We are so extremely proud. And you know, there are so many great opportunities for families when you have somebody serving. And so you don't want to come across as whining or feeling sorry for yourself. And I think that we don't do a very good job managing pride with conflict," she said. Hayes says military families need to talk more openly about the strain deployment can place on a marriage. She remembers a Yellow Ribbon event after one of her husband's deployments. "Rich and I went to our first Yellow Ribbon event when he came back from deployment. They separated the couples who were still together from those who had separated, and almost half the room left. That was scary," she said. That's why the Hayeses remain dedicated to helping veterans and their families. "How can I take what I've learned in my life and make something of it besides just letting it atrophy behind some golf clubs or fishing poles?" Hayes said. "So I'm trying to find a balance and family and giving back what I've learned." As Veterans Day is observed across the country, Danette Hayes hopes Americans remember the families who serve behind the uniform. "Veterans Day is coming up. Go ahead and recognize a family that's standing behind that service member, because without them, we don't have our service members," she said. Click here to learn more about Veterans Path to Hope: https://veteranspathtohope.org/ Report a correction or typo Copyright © 2026 WLS-TV. All Rights Reserved. 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